Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

There is a part of me that is just a straight up shit-starter. I like do things because they aren't done. As I'm writing my romance novel, I have tried at every turn to outdo myself with the ridiculous things I managed to work into conversation between my characters. A few of my favorites are:

Farting contests

Toe hair

Colon cleanses

Geriatric dominatrices

Scissoring (and I'm not talkin' 'bout arts and crafts)

I swear to you, the book is sexy and it's a love story. Really. I'm sure. Pretty sure.Mostly sure.

The sex scenes are hot. I can definitely vouch for that.

On a different note, oh look, Dean Winchester images. Shut up, I can quit anytime I want!

No I can't.

Help. Me.